whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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