My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
