i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
