I wanna passion pit in your ass
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
