i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
