went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
