He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
