i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
