I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
