Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
