The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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