Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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