you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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