I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
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got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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