is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
