Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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