ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You need a sexual gate keeper
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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