I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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