Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
