thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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