just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
