need another drink. this is the easiest way
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
