i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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