Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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