i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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