You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
