Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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