i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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