is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
