Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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