Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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