We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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