I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
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Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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