I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize