It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
