so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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