Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
