shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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