They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
