girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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