I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a search helicopter?!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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