Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
