Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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