the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
