Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
