They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
