fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
