Where are you?
In a non slutty way
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
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Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
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You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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