Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
