Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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