WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
