what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
