I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
