fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
