so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
