Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
