"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
