he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
