have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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