you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
