i think my mom watched the whole time
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
