Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
