plz talk dirty to me
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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