doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
