I cannot find my penis.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
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I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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