i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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