he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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